FINDING TRUE LOVE
One of the greatest blessings we get to enjoy in this wonderful life is the opportunity to LOVE and be LOVED. The greatest LOVE of all is our LOVE for GOD. The love for our family, friends and partner are all equally valuable and wonderful. In later posts I will be writing about each and every one of them. Today I will focus on writing about my views and thoughts about finding True LOVE in a partner for life.
I will like to start by saying that this is simply my opinion, I don’t believe for a minute I hold the ultimate truth. I will add that I might even have it all wrong. I simply will like to share my views on this matter and the advice, recommendations and guidance my parents have given me over the years in regards to dating, love and marriage that so far has provided me with the happy outcome expected. J
My father always told me that choosing who will you married or who do you decide to spend the rest of your life with, is the most important decision you’ll make in your entire life. I agree, this person is going to be your partner every single day for the rest of your life. Before committing yourself to someone for that much time, you should carefully analyze, reflect, and make sure that your goals and expectations of life and each other are really compatible. When it comes to dating, I don’t like to say DO date for a very long time, but I will say, DO consider dating for a GOOD WHILE so you can really get to know the person.
Dating can sometimes be a very annoying first step on meeting the potential love of your life. Meeting someone, presenting your best self and hiding all of your physical and character flaws in the best possible way is part of the whole experience. However, if you think about it, that whole game we all have played on those dates, is precisely what fuels everyone’s interest in each other.
I’ve heard so many times that nowadays somehow finding a good man has become more difficult. I truly believe there are still many good men out there also with the desire to find true love, a partner, a wife and a family. Our job as women is very simple, once you’ve found The One, or simply someone that you feel has some potential to become The One, BE SMART.
BEING SMART, a few recommendations:
1. Physical Attraction… Important??? YES!!!
Physical attraction yes, it is very important, even though is not ALL that matters, and a relationship will never last if its base on physical attraction alone, it is still a crucial must at the beginning of a relationship. This does not mean that you should only date good looking guys, this only means that you should definitely feel some sort of attraction or spark with potential for grow over time when you get to know this person better. Also, if you want a 10, you should also work on yourself to become a 10. You don’t have to look like a super model, but you should always take care of yourself. Eating right and exercising often is a must. Always dress your best, even if you are only going to the supermarket, look your best, dress to impress, you’ll never know when you will find your prince charming. ;-)
2. Do not expect Perfection.
First of all don’t expect anyone to be perfect, you are not perfect, no one is, so never expect perfection from a partner because you’ll never find a partner. Open your mind to endless possibilities and also keep in mind that a guy in love can change many things for you. A loving relationship is a work in progress. Don’t expect that in the first date you are going to click 100% and that from there you’ll live happily ever after. Take your time to get to know the person, give them the opportunity to show you more. You will always find flaws and virtues in every potential mate. As long as you see more virtues than flaws, then you are in the right track.
3. The Power of Mystery.
On your first dates, never reveal your whole life story by describing every single detail. Leave some stuff for his imagination. If he asks about your past love life, never show resentment or anger you may have build up within. Work on that on your time. Answer his questions but be politely vague. Don’t go too deep into extremely painful life experiences you may have had in the past. Save them for when your relationship becomes stronger and deeper. At the beginning of dating, there is nothing more scary to a man than going into a relationship with someone with too much drama or too much trouble in their life.
Don’t get me wrong, it is great to share your past pain and suffering with the one you love. And now that I’m married, I do it all the time, (poor husband of mine) when my husband and I share all our issues, when you love the person you want nothing but to help them resolve and overcome all their issues, and this sharing brings you even closer to your partner. But when you don’t love the person yet and you are barely getting to know them, revealing all your past drama can seem a bit overwhelming and simply a lot of work.
4. Once you know you like him and he likes you, LET HIM PURSUE YOU!!!
Men by nature like to be the hunters. Let him pursue you. There are many subtle and classy ways to show him that you are interested too but that it is still up to him to make the first move. God created the women more fragile and the men stronger. We shall simply follow and act according to the laws of nature. Nature and the universe are very wise. I have a husband and many male cousins and they have all share with me some of the insights of how men think when it comes to choosing someone special. They like challenges and loveeee mystery. ;-)
5. I’m with Patti Stanger… “No Sex before Monogamy”
I can’t highlight enough the importance of this rule. I was raised in a family with very traditional beliefs and values, and while I do know that times have changed, some rules still apply and should always remain the same.
The act of sex is the greatest expression of LOVE. If you are serious about finding someone special, this rule is a MUST. This is also a big part of keeping the mystery on play. Waiting the appropriate time on being intimate with your partner will only strengthen your relationship and you will have the certainty that your partner is with you because he loves you and he cares about you, and most importantly, if he is really worth your time, he will wait. After all, good things come to those who wait. ;-)
6. If you think you are doing everything right and nothing happens, DON’T SWEAT IT!!! HE’S SIMPLY NOT FOR YOU AND YOU’RE ONE STEP CLOSER TO FINDING THE ONE!!!
I know it can be pretty discouraging when you’re single and you think you’ve found THE ONE, and turns out he wasn’t. You have to understand that this person that wasn’t what you were expecting to be, GOD put him in your path for a very good reason that you might not understand now, but later you will. Make it a habit of thanking GOD for the experience, good or bad, always be thankful to GOD for another opportunity to learn something new. Ask him with total faith to give you the strength to be able to “FLAP YOUR WINGS AND LET GO OF THE STORY”
GOD will listen to you, GOD always listens to those who talk to HIM with faith. LIFE becomes extremely exciting and interesting when we surrender ourselves completely to HIM. I can’t highlight this enough, if you have faith, he’ll take care of you all the way 100%.
Once again, when it comes to dating, love and marriage, this is merely an opinion, and I know that there are exceptions to every rule. But I do believe that you have a higher chance to find True Love, if you follow a couple of these recommendations.
I’m aware that I might have a bit radical views about this matter; I was raised very conservative and old fashioned. I’ve simply shared with you my experiences and what has work for me in my marriage and what I have observed and learned from very loving couples I’ve gotten the opportunity to know over the years.
God bless you ALL!!!