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“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

November 5, 2010 Leave a comment

This has got to be one of my favorite quotes. Two of my aunts would always tell me, ” Fabi, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” I of course didn’t understand it and would dismiss it without giving it a second thought to what it meant or what it could mean. Until last year when I broke up with my ex boyfriend. To me it was the end of the world as we know it, as I was deeply in love and until the day I realized that he cheated on me, I thought I was loved back. I tell you this because for me it was a turning point of my  life and understanding of  it.

It happened last November, a year ago now, and I tell you I was broken inside out. I had all these feelings and didn’t know what to do with all of them. I didn’t know if I should keep crying, yell,  hide under a rock so no one could see the hurt inside me, or go find the ass and kick him in the balls to rid myself of some of the anger I was feeling…One night I came home from work , had no energy left in me,  put my pj’s on and buried myself in my bed, turned on the TV and a commercial made me cry, who am I kidding, I was sobbing uncontrollably  . My Nana (grandmother) heard me from across the hallway and immediately called one of my aunts (who I am very close to and would always tell me this quote). She stayed on the phone with me close to 3 hours and basically she broke it down for me. I had to change the way I was looking at this event happening  in my life. I had to take control of my emotions and learn to channel them in a positive way.

She was absolutely right!  What was I doing to myself? Torturing myself with sappy love songs, feeling sorry for myself . I was throwing myself, allowing myself to go into depression. That was something that I was not going to allow to happen. I had seen my sister battle depression and it scared me. The thought of being in a dark place as she once was. was something that I feared. Plus my ex was not crying for me, he was moving on with his life along with the other girl and he could care less about me or my feelings. And the more I thought about it and all that had happened, I really had no reason not to move on either (easier said than done right?). My aunt suggested I start reading.  What a wonderful idea that was. There was a book that her and my other aunt were going to start reading together and I just so happen to have a copy to start reading with them…..the book was Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. The moment I read the first page, I was hooked. It was exactly how I was feeling, exactly what I was going through.  The more I read the more this book would inspire me to reconnect with myself , open up my eyes and allow myself to see situations in a different way.

The moment I did that I understood what my aunts had been telling me for years. I learned that no one can break you or hurt you unless you allow them to, and  no one has the right to do that. I learned that the mind is a powerful thing and you can accomplish anything your heart desires if you set your mind to it. Most importantly I learned that everything happens for a reason, good or bad. You have to just open your mind, heart and soul to see the reasons certain things happen to us and learn from it. You do that and you’ll see that it is true, the moment you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change!

-Fabiola

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