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YourFriendsToo

FINDING TRUE LOVE

One of the greatest blessings we get to enjoy in this wonderful life is the opportunity to LOVE and be LOVED. The greatest LOVE of all is our LOVE for GOD. The love for our family, friends and partner are all equally valuable and wonderful. In later posts I will be writing about each and every one of them. Today I will focus on writing about my views and thoughts about finding True LOVE in a partner for life.

I will like to start by saying that this is simply my opinion, I don’t believe for a minute I hold the ultimate truth. I will add that I might even have it all wrong. I simply will like to share my views on this matter and the advice, recommendations and guidance my parents have given me over the years in regards to dating, love and marriage that so far has provided me with the happy outcome expected. J

My father always told me that choosing who will you married or who do you decide to spend the rest of your life with, is the most important decision you’ll make in your entire life. I agree, this person is going to be your partner every single day for the rest of your life. Before committing yourself to someone for that much time, you should carefully analyze, reflect, and make sure that your goals and expectations of life and each other are really compatible. When it comes to dating, I don’t like to say DO date for a very long time, but I will say, DO consider dating for a GOOD WHILE so you can really get to know the person.

Dating can sometimes be a very annoying first step on meeting the potential love of your life. Meeting someone, presenting your best self and hiding all of your physical and character flaws in the best possible way is part of the whole experience. However, if you think about it, that whole game we all have played on those dates, is precisely what fuels everyone’s interest in each other.

I’ve heard so many times that nowadays somehow finding a good man has become more difficult. I truly believe there are still many good men out there also with the desire to find true love, a partner, a wife and a family. Our job as women is very simple, once you’ve found The One, or simply someone that you feel has some potential to become The One, BE SMART.

BEING SMART, a few recommendations:

 

1. Physical Attraction… Important??? YES!!!

Physical attraction yes, it is very important, even though is not ALL that matters, and a relationship will never last if its base on physical attraction alone, it is still a crucial must at the beginning of a relationship. This does not mean that you should only date good looking guys, this only means that you should definitely feel some sort of attraction or spark with potential for grow over time when you get to know this person better. Also, if you want a 10, you should also work on yourself to become a 10. You don’t have to look like a super model, but you should always take care of yourself. Eating right and exercising often is a must. Always dress your best, even if you are only going to the supermarket, look your best, dress to impress, you’ll never know when you will find your prince charming. 😉

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2. Do not expect Perfection.

First of all don’t expect anyone to be perfect, you are not perfect, no one is, so never expect perfection from a partner because you’ll never find a partner. Open your mind to endless possibilities and also keep in mind that a guy in love can change many things for you. A loving relationship is a work in progress. Don’t expect that in the first date you are going to click 100% and that from there you’ll live happily ever after. Take your time to get to know the person, give them the opportunity to show you more. You will always find flaws and virtues in every potential mate. As long as you see more virtues than flaws, then you are in the right track.

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3. The Power of Mystery.

 

On your first dates, never reveal your whole life story by describing every single detail. Leave some stuff for his imagination. If he asks about your past love life, never show resentment or anger you may have build up within. Work on that on your time. Answer his questions but be politely vague. Don’t go too deep into extremely painful life experiences you may have had in the past. Save them for when your relationship becomes stronger and deeper. At the beginning of dating, there is nothing more scary to a man than going into a relationship with someone with too much drama or too much trouble in their life.

Don’t get me wrong, it is great to share your past pain and suffering with the one you love. And now that I’m married, I do it all the time, (poor husband of mine) when my husband and I share all our issues, when you love the person you want nothing but to help them resolve and overcome all their issues, and this sharing brings you even closer to your partner. But when you don’t love the person yet and you are barely getting to know them, revealing all your past drama can seem a bit overwhelming and simply a lot of work.

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4. Once you know you like him and he likes you, LET HIM PURSUE YOU!!!

 

Men by nature like to be the hunters. Let him pursue you. There are many subtle and classy ways to show him that you are interested too but that it is still up to him to make the first move. God created the women more fragile and the men stronger. We shall simply follow and act according to the laws of nature. Nature and the universe are very wise. I have a husband and many male cousins and they have all share with me some of the insights of how men think when it comes to choosing someone special. They like challenges and loveeee mystery. 😉

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5. I’m with Patti Stanger… “No Sex before Monogamy”

 

I can’t highlight enough the importance of this rule. I was raised in a family with very traditional beliefs and values, and while I do know that times have changed, some rules still apply and should always remain the same.

The act of sex is the greatest expression of LOVE. If you are serious about finding someone special, this rule is a MUST. This is also a big part of keeping the mystery on play. Waiting the appropriate time on being intimate with your partner will only strengthen your relationship and you will have the certainty that your partner is with you because he loves you and he cares about you, and most importantly, if he is really worth your time, he will wait. After all, good things come to those who wait. 😉

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6. If you think you are doing everything right and nothing happens, DON’T SWEAT IT!!! HE’S SIMPLY NOT FOR YOU AND YOU’RE ONE STEP CLOSER TO FINDING THE ONE!!!

I know it can be pretty discouraging when you’re single and you think you’ve found THE ONE, and turns out he wasn’t. You have to understand that this person that wasn’t what you were expecting to be, GOD put him in your path for a very good reason that you might not understand now, but later you will. Make it a habit of thanking GOD for the experience, good or bad, always be thankful to GOD for another opportunity to learn something new. Ask him with total faith to give you the strength to be able to “FLAP YOUR WINGS AND LET GO OF THE STORY”

GOD will listen to you, GOD always listens to those who talk to HIM with faith. LIFE becomes extremely exciting and interesting when we surrender ourselves completely to HIM. I can’t highlight this enough, if you have faith, he’ll take care of you all the way 100%.

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Once again, when it comes to dating, love and marriage, this is merely an opinion, and I know that there are exceptions to every rule. But I do believe that you have a higher chance to find True Love, if you follow a couple of these recommendations.

I’m aware that I might have a bit radical views about this matter; I was raised very conservative and old fashioned. I’ve simply shared with you my experiences and what has work for me in my marriage and what I have observed and learned from very loving couples I’ve gotten the opportunity to know over the years.

God bless you ALL!!!

-Lizbeth

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Holiday Blanket and Sock Drive….Mission Accomplished!

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YourFriendsToo and the Gonzales Sports Academy along with our friends would like to thank each and every one of you who took the time to support us and helped make a difference this past holiday season. It was such a rewarding experience to be able to help someone, to put a smile on child’s face, to see a man’s face light up from receiving a warm blanket; and all this could not have been possible without your generosity and big hearts.

THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

Your Body Is your Temple

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Yesterday I read something that I would like to share with you:

“You are one special being born from the joining of one sperm out of approximately 500 million and one egg. You are already a winner, a divine being comprised of a body, mind and spirit. You already have everything you need to  live to your highest potential, to live fully.”

It starts with taking care of yourself. Cherish, Love, and respect your temple unconditionally no matter what the current shape. ” – Susan Smith Jones, PH.D.

I loved reading this, it couldn’t have read this at a better time. You see I have been stressing these past weeks with self image. I tend to be very harsh on myself, criticizing every small flaw or imperfection; I have since I was a kid. I should tell you I was a chunky kid, so of course I was teased a lot back then and that has carried all the way through my adult life. Though I have gotten better, there are times more often then I’d like, when I fall back into old habits of staring at myself in the mirror or going through pictures thinking of everything negative there is about me.

Reading this made me realize that I need to STOP. We are all guilty of doing this to ourselves at some point, but why?  Our body does such wonderful things for us on a daily basis, it really  is our “temple” and it will respond to the care, love and respect we give it regardless of the flaws it may have.  Last year that I began being active I saw that this is true. My body responded in such wonderful ways, I had more energy, I didn’t get sick as often, I lost weight, my clothes fit great! And yet this old habit of mine still haunts me.

As I finished reading that small piece of wisdom, (because truly that is what it is) I decided that I will make the necessary adjustments to my body to give it the respect and love it deserves. I mean when I thought about all the body does not just on the outside but all our organs inside us, how could we not want to take care of ourselves.  So as of today I am committed to embrace a healthier lifestyle, eat healthy foods, exercise regularly (I like many, tend to fall off the bandwagon often) , but most importantly I will only embrace positive thoughts about my body.

From now on I will visualize my body as my friend not my enemy that won’t fit into my jeans! So next time you are beating yourself up like I was, remember that we only have one body for our lifetime so we should take better care of it and give it all the love it deserves!

-Fabiola

HOW TO LEARN TO FOCUS ON YOUR BLESSINGS INSTEAD OF YOUR LOSSES…

Acknowledging our blessings and not minding our losses can be pretty challenging. Unfortunately it is within our nature to focus more on what we don’t have or use to have rather than what we DO HAVE in THE NOW. GOOD NEWS!!! There is something we can do about it 😉

I consider myself a very blessed human being, and although I’ve had some very painful losses in my life, I’ve also due to those experiences, have learned as a MUST to be thankful and count my blessings every single day. As a result, my losses are now perceived more as lessons needed to be learned to become a better human being and to serve God in the best possible way.

How to do it? How to have a thankful and appreciative attitude every day?

Every day, every morning when you open your eyes you have a very important decision to make. You have 2 choices, you and only you have the power to pick the one you really want. You can wake up and say:

1. 1.    GOD Thank You for allowing me to wake up this morning, open my eyes, be alive, and have this and that, and that and so much more…

 

OR

 

1. 2.    God, why is it that I lost him or her? Why this happened to me, to my family? Why I don’t have this, and that, and so much more that I NEED to be happy?

 

Learn to ALWAYS, ALWAYS pick number 1. Make it a habit of learning to pick number 1. Even in your darkest hours make it your biggest challenge to pick number 1. Remember that choosing number 1, by universal law, you will always attract even more blessings to you and your surroundings, and know that for your number 2 question, you will NEVER, NEVER hear an answer that will bring you peace, you will simply attract more unpleasant and negative outcomes into your life.

GOD is ALL knowing, who are we to question him?

 

In my case the loss of a loved one makes it extremely difficult not to ask myself that number 2 question, THE WHY, WHY ME, WHY MY FAMILY. It is a challenge that I face every single day of my life, but I can honestly tell you that I’m getting closer to that place where every day that challenge seems to be easier to deal with. Everyday instead of focusing on the why I lost him or why this happened to my family, I focus more on being thankful to GOD for the wonderful blessing of having a True Angel as my Baby Brother and as part of my family, getting to know him was truly being for many years on the mere presence of PURE LOVE.  

Make it a habit!!! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, BE AWARE and BE PRESENT in THE NOW. GOD is all knowing, GOD is a FAIR GOD, I know I’ve written this so many times in previous posts, but I can’t highlight this enough. Trust HIM, truly trust HIM and his plans for you.

GOD gave us the most powerful blessing, FREE WILL, our ability to make choices. Let’s use his wonderful gift to our advantage and well being. ALWAYS pick number 1. Always be thankful for what you have and for what you use to have, because we all have so much to be thankful.

GOD bless you ALL and your families 😉

-Lizbeth

“I DON’T MIND WHAT HAPPENS”

Jiddu Krishnamurti, the greatest Indian philosopher and spiritual leader revealed to his audience in one of his many teachings his secret to happiness and peace of mind.

“I don’t mind what happens”

Very simple but yet very powerful statement. Not minding what happens means being ONE with the Universe, being in sync with the world and the present moment, accepting and not resisting THE NOW.

Being at ease with what IT IS, AS IS, is the key to bring extreme and total comfort and peace of mind into your life. Every single experience in our life serves a greater purpose, bigger than US. That is why Krishnamurti advices us to stop mentally labeling every situation or event that happens in our life as either good or bad, by breaking this habit, you prevent yourself from participating in human drama and thus saving yourself plenty of trouble.

As always, easier said than done, but the key is to NEVER stop trying to do the right thing, and the right thing will always be NOT MINDING WHAT HAPPENS!!!

This does not mean that you should stop putting effort on bringing change into your life. On the contrary, like Eckhart Tolle mentions in his book “A New Earth”,

“When the basis for your actions is inner alignment with the present moment, your actions become empowered by the intelligence of Life itself”.

Life and nature are pretty wise. As I stated on my previous post about observing and learning from ducks, flapping our wings and letting go of the story, again, our nature and all our surroundings will always be filled with priceless teachings. We shall never stop wanting to keep learning, the universe provides endless FREE education/wisdom.

According to Krishnamurti, “There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning”.

What we’ve learned today is that we must start practicing THE ART OF NOT MINDING WHAT HAPPENS in your present moment. The secret to happiness, OBSERVE, ACCEPT and LEARN. If your present moment still HURTS pretty severely, always remember that GOD is a FAIR GOD, he will always repair all your wrongs with double rights. NEVER DOUBT THAT!!!

Hope these words brought you a bit of comfort and peace of mind 😉

God Blessed,

-Lizbeth

Image Source: www.singlemindedwomen.com 

Be Active….Participate in Your Life!!!

With the new year right around the corner everyone starts to think about their resolutions for the upcoming year. We do so, the new year starts and stick to them for about a second and then they are out the window. Towards the end of the year we start realizing that we could have done so much more with the year, our time, our life. Trust me I am the first to do this over and over.

I am the one who is always saying, “One day I’ll do this, or one day I’ll go there.” I have been guilty of being the one who sits on the sidelines thinking  what it would be like to travel like my friends have, to have my own house, to have my degree finally, to be able to fly and conquer the world without hesitation. When all this time I had the power to make it happen as do each and everyone have.  This year; I have been making small changes that make me want to do more and more. What was I thinking just watching my life go by or be lived the way others wanted. That was the old me!  Now with this new year I am not going to make resolutions because  we should do the things that make us happy everyday. We should work on our goals on  a daily basis. Not sit on them until the new year is near us again.

What I am saying is BE ACTIVE in your own life,OWN IT! Think of all the things that you’d like to accomplish and haven’t yet for whatever reason. Once you have an idea of all you want to accomplish work on doing one thing every day or  every week. Don’t wait until it is too late…As I crossed some items off my list this year I  have come to see that doing so was and is an essential part to making my life a grand celebration!!!

So go out there and Participate, Live and Celebrate your life!!!

-Fabiola

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

BEST WISHES FROM       

                                  YourFriendsToo

WHETHER YOU THINK YOU CAN OR YOU CAN’T, EITHER WAY YOU’RE RIGHT!!

Very powerful statement. One of the many lessons learned from my father. As someone who overcome many obstacles and barriers to get where he is today, my father is a vivid example of the power of your thoughts.

Our mind is the most powerful gift we’ve been given. In addition to its power, our mind can be a very tricky tool with various features at our disposal. However, when facing difficult and painful situations in our life, learning how to use them all can be pretty challenging. As a depression survivor myself, I’ve experience a very dark side of our mind as a consequence of very negative thoughts.

After hitting rock bottom during my darkest hours, I realized that by being depressed I was actually causing a lot of pain to the people I love the most. All of the sudden I started to rationalize my situation and concluded that being depressed is basically a whole a lot of thinking of ME, then ME and ME again. Surprisingly enough, I switched from feeling extremely victimized by my circumstances, to feeling extremely selfish.  

I made a decision, I didn’t want to live my life like that anymore, and most importantly, I wouldn’t want to be the cause of unhappiness for anyone else. I started thinking about people who have gone through even toughest life’s situations than mine and how they were able to survive and move on with their lives. I convinced myself, if they could do it, I CAN TOO!!! And I was RIGHT, I was absolutely RIGHT.

Whether you want to get out of a depression, have a better career or a better relationship, if you think YOU CAN do it, YOU WILL. If you think you CAN’T, you are absolutely RIGHT, you’ll never will. It sounds very simple but yet is very difficult to actually practice it. If you think about it, using simple logic, you’ll realize that the only thing you must do to make that change in your life is make a decision, and you and only you have the power to make the correct one.

Very few problems in our life are cause by circumstances out of our control. Most of them are cause by our thoughts, our perspectives and sometimes unrealistic expectations of people and situations.

Let’s make the RIGHT decision, let’s choose to be HAPPY, let’s choose I CAN!!!

God Blessed,

-Lizbeth

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS From YourFriendsToo!!!

Don’t forget this Christmas and New Year’s Eve, when all your family and friends are knocking on your door, remember you also have the most important guest who’s always knocking on your door. Let HIM in, HE wants to STAY.

May you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

God Bless you ALL!!! and Thank You for being such loyal readers and supporters of our blog 🙂

H A P P Y    H O L I D A Y S ! ! !

Best Wishes From   YourFriendsToo

Heart to Heart

 

With the holidays here already I’ve started thinking of all the people that I have met in my life. Of the relationships I have and what really matters to me. My conclusion came to be that what really matters is the heart to heart connection that you make with a person.  Education, occupation, skin color, shape, size, age….none of it matters. All that is just the gift wrapping; a covering  to each and everyone one that makes us unique and special.

So this holiday season take the time to let those special people in your life know how much you appreciate them. And remember to see the positive side of everyone surrounding you and most importantly, love and appreciate everyone in your life!

 

Happy Holidays and God Blessed!

 

-Fabiola

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