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YourFriendsToo

FINDING TRUE LOVE

One of the greatest blessings we get to enjoy in this wonderful life is the opportunity to LOVE and be LOVED. The greatest LOVE of all is our LOVE for GOD. The love for our family, friends and partner are all equally valuable and wonderful. In later posts I will be writing about each and every one of them. Today I will focus on writing about my views and thoughts about finding True LOVE in a partner for life.

I will like to start by saying that this is simply my opinion, I don’t believe for a minute I hold the ultimate truth. I will add that I might even have it all wrong. I simply will like to share my views on this matter and the advice, recommendations and guidance my parents have given me over the years in regards to dating, love and marriage that so far has provided me with the happy outcome expected. J

My father always told me that choosing who will you married or who do you decide to spend the rest of your life with, is the most important decision you’ll make in your entire life. I agree, this person is going to be your partner every single day for the rest of your life. Before committing yourself to someone for that much time, you should carefully analyze, reflect, and make sure that your goals and expectations of life and each other are really compatible. When it comes to dating, I don’t like to say DO date for a very long time, but I will say, DO consider dating for a GOOD WHILE so you can really get to know the person.

Dating can sometimes be a very annoying first step on meeting the potential love of your life. Meeting someone, presenting your best self and hiding all of your physical and character flaws in the best possible way is part of the whole experience. However, if you think about it, that whole game we all have played on those dates, is precisely what fuels everyone’s interest in each other.

I’ve heard so many times that nowadays somehow finding a good man has become more difficult. I truly believe there are still many good men out there also with the desire to find true love, a partner, a wife and a family. Our job as women is very simple, once you’ve found The One, or simply someone that you feel has some potential to become The One, BE SMART.

BEING SMART, a few recommendations:

 

1. Physical Attraction… Important??? YES!!!

Physical attraction yes, it is very important, even though is not ALL that matters, and a relationship will never last if its base on physical attraction alone, it is still a crucial must at the beginning of a relationship. This does not mean that you should only date good looking guys, this only means that you should definitely feel some sort of attraction or spark with potential for grow over time when you get to know this person better. Also, if you want a 10, you should also work on yourself to become a 10. You don’t have to look like a super model, but you should always take care of yourself. Eating right and exercising often is a must. Always dress your best, even if you are only going to the supermarket, look your best, dress to impress, you’ll never know when you will find your prince charming. 😉

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2. Do not expect Perfection.

First of all don’t expect anyone to be perfect, you are not perfect, no one is, so never expect perfection from a partner because you’ll never find a partner. Open your mind to endless possibilities and also keep in mind that a guy in love can change many things for you. A loving relationship is a work in progress. Don’t expect that in the first date you are going to click 100% and that from there you’ll live happily ever after. Take your time to get to know the person, give them the opportunity to show you more. You will always find flaws and virtues in every potential mate. As long as you see more virtues than flaws, then you are in the right track.

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3. The Power of Mystery.

 

On your first dates, never reveal your whole life story by describing every single detail. Leave some stuff for his imagination. If he asks about your past love life, never show resentment or anger you may have build up within. Work on that on your time. Answer his questions but be politely vague. Don’t go too deep into extremely painful life experiences you may have had in the past. Save them for when your relationship becomes stronger and deeper. At the beginning of dating, there is nothing more scary to a man than going into a relationship with someone with too much drama or too much trouble in their life.

Don’t get me wrong, it is great to share your past pain and suffering with the one you love. And now that I’m married, I do it all the time, (poor husband of mine) when my husband and I share all our issues, when you love the person you want nothing but to help them resolve and overcome all their issues, and this sharing brings you even closer to your partner. But when you don’t love the person yet and you are barely getting to know them, revealing all your past drama can seem a bit overwhelming and simply a lot of work.

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4. Once you know you like him and he likes you, LET HIM PURSUE YOU!!!

 

Men by nature like to be the hunters. Let him pursue you. There are many subtle and classy ways to show him that you are interested too but that it is still up to him to make the first move. God created the women more fragile and the men stronger. We shall simply follow and act according to the laws of nature. Nature and the universe are very wise. I have a husband and many male cousins and they have all share with me some of the insights of how men think when it comes to choosing someone special. They like challenges and loveeee mystery. 😉

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5. I’m with Patti Stanger… “No Sex before Monogamy”

 

I can’t highlight enough the importance of this rule. I was raised in a family with very traditional beliefs and values, and while I do know that times have changed, some rules still apply and should always remain the same.

The act of sex is the greatest expression of LOVE. If you are serious about finding someone special, this rule is a MUST. This is also a big part of keeping the mystery on play. Waiting the appropriate time on being intimate with your partner will only strengthen your relationship and you will have the certainty that your partner is with you because he loves you and he cares about you, and most importantly, if he is really worth your time, he will wait. After all, good things come to those who wait. 😉

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6. If you think you are doing everything right and nothing happens, DON’T SWEAT IT!!! HE’S SIMPLY NOT FOR YOU AND YOU’RE ONE STEP CLOSER TO FINDING THE ONE!!!

I know it can be pretty discouraging when you’re single and you think you’ve found THE ONE, and turns out he wasn’t. You have to understand that this person that wasn’t what you were expecting to be, GOD put him in your path for a very good reason that you might not understand now, but later you will. Make it a habit of thanking GOD for the experience, good or bad, always be thankful to GOD for another opportunity to learn something new. Ask him with total faith to give you the strength to be able to “FLAP YOUR WINGS AND LET GO OF THE STORY”

GOD will listen to you, GOD always listens to those who talk to HIM with faith. LIFE becomes extremely exciting and interesting when we surrender ourselves completely to HIM. I can’t highlight this enough, if you have faith, he’ll take care of you all the way 100%.

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Once again, when it comes to dating, love and marriage, this is merely an opinion, and I know that there are exceptions to every rule. But I do believe that you have a higher chance to find True Love, if you follow a couple of these recommendations.

I’m aware that I might have a bit radical views about this matter; I was raised very conservative and old fashioned. I’ve simply shared with you my experiences and what has work for me in my marriage and what I have observed and learned from very loving couples I’ve gotten the opportunity to know over the years.

God bless you ALL!!!

-Lizbeth

Image Credit:theworldrace.com

Holiday Blanket and Sock Drive….Mission Accomplished!

Image Credit: http://www.wondercomments.com

YourFriendsToo and the Gonzales Sports Academy along with our friends would like to thank each and every one of you who took the time to support us and helped make a difference this past holiday season. It was such a rewarding experience to be able to help someone, to put a smile on child’s face, to see a man’s face light up from receiving a warm blanket; and all this could not have been possible without your generosity and big hearts.

THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

Your Body Is your Temple

Image Credit: http://www.Glamour.com

Yesterday I read something that I would like to share with you:

“You are one special being born from the joining of one sperm out of approximately 500 million and one egg. You are already a winner, a divine being comprised of a body, mind and spirit. You already have everything you need to  live to your highest potential, to live fully.”

It starts with taking care of yourself. Cherish, Love, and respect your temple unconditionally no matter what the current shape. ” – Susan Smith Jones, PH.D.

I loved reading this, it couldn’t have read this at a better time. You see I have been stressing these past weeks with self image. I tend to be very harsh on myself, criticizing every small flaw or imperfection; I have since I was a kid. I should tell you I was a chunky kid, so of course I was teased a lot back then and that has carried all the way through my adult life. Though I have gotten better, there are times more often then I’d like, when I fall back into old habits of staring at myself in the mirror or going through pictures thinking of everything negative there is about me.

Reading this made me realize that I need to STOP. We are all guilty of doing this to ourselves at some point, but why?  Our body does such wonderful things for us on a daily basis, it really  is our “temple” and it will respond to the care, love and respect we give it regardless of the flaws it may have.  Last year that I began being active I saw that this is true. My body responded in such wonderful ways, I had more energy, I didn’t get sick as often, I lost weight, my clothes fit great! And yet this old habit of mine still haunts me.

As I finished reading that small piece of wisdom, (because truly that is what it is) I decided that I will make the necessary adjustments to my body to give it the respect and love it deserves. I mean when I thought about all the body does not just on the outside but all our organs inside us, how could we not want to take care of ourselves.  So as of today I am committed to embrace a healthier lifestyle, eat healthy foods, exercise regularly (I like many, tend to fall off the bandwagon often) , but most importantly I will only embrace positive thoughts about my body.

From now on I will visualize my body as my friend not my enemy that won’t fit into my jeans! So next time you are beating yourself up like I was, remember that we only have one body for our lifetime so we should take better care of it and give it all the love it deserves!

-Fabiola

HOW TO LEARN TO FOCUS ON YOUR BLESSINGS INSTEAD OF YOUR LOSSES…

Acknowledging our blessings and not minding our losses can be pretty challenging. Unfortunately it is within our nature to focus more on what we don’t have or use to have rather than what we DO HAVE in THE NOW. GOOD NEWS!!! There is something we can do about it 😉

I consider myself a very blessed human being, and although I’ve had some very painful losses in my life, I’ve also due to those experiences, have learned as a MUST to be thankful and count my blessings every single day. As a result, my losses are now perceived more as lessons needed to be learned to become a better human being and to serve God in the best possible way.

How to do it? How to have a thankful and appreciative attitude every day?

Every day, every morning when you open your eyes you have a very important decision to make. You have 2 choices, you and only you have the power to pick the one you really want. You can wake up and say:

1. 1.    GOD Thank You for allowing me to wake up this morning, open my eyes, be alive, and have this and that, and that and so much more…

 

OR

 

1. 2.    God, why is it that I lost him or her? Why this happened to me, to my family? Why I don’t have this, and that, and so much more that I NEED to be happy?

 

Learn to ALWAYS, ALWAYS pick number 1. Make it a habit of learning to pick number 1. Even in your darkest hours make it your biggest challenge to pick number 1. Remember that choosing number 1, by universal law, you will always attract even more blessings to you and your surroundings, and know that for your number 2 question, you will NEVER, NEVER hear an answer that will bring you peace, you will simply attract more unpleasant and negative outcomes into your life.

GOD is ALL knowing, who are we to question him?

 

In my case the loss of a loved one makes it extremely difficult not to ask myself that number 2 question, THE WHY, WHY ME, WHY MY FAMILY. It is a challenge that I face every single day of my life, but I can honestly tell you that I’m getting closer to that place where every day that challenge seems to be easier to deal with. Everyday instead of focusing on the why I lost him or why this happened to my family, I focus more on being thankful to GOD for the wonderful blessing of having a True Angel as my Baby Brother and as part of my family, getting to know him was truly being for many years on the mere presence of PURE LOVE.  

Make it a habit!!! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, BE AWARE and BE PRESENT in THE NOW. GOD is all knowing, GOD is a FAIR GOD, I know I’ve written this so many times in previous posts, but I can’t highlight this enough. Trust HIM, truly trust HIM and his plans for you.

GOD gave us the most powerful blessing, FREE WILL, our ability to make choices. Let’s use his wonderful gift to our advantage and well being. ALWAYS pick number 1. Always be thankful for what you have and for what you use to have, because we all have so much to be thankful.

GOD bless you ALL and your families 😉

-Lizbeth

HAPPY HOLIDAYS From YourFriendsToo!!!

Don’t forget this Christmas and New Year’s Eve, when all your family and friends are knocking on your door, remember you also have the most important guest who’s always knocking on your door. Let HIM in, HE wants to STAY.

May you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

God Bless you ALL!!! and Thank You for being such loyal readers and supporters of our blog 🙂

H A P P Y    H O L I D A Y S ! ! !

Best Wishes From   YourFriendsToo

Heart to Heart

 

With the holidays here already I’ve started thinking of all the people that I have met in my life. Of the relationships I have and what really matters to me. My conclusion came to be that what really matters is the heart to heart connection that you make with a person.  Education, occupation, skin color, shape, size, age….none of it matters. All that is just the gift wrapping; a covering  to each and everyone one that makes us unique and special.

So this holiday season take the time to let those special people in your life know how much you appreciate them. And remember to see the positive side of everyone surrounding you and most importantly, love and appreciate everyone in your life!

 

Happy Holidays and God Blessed!

 

-Fabiola

Image Credit: http://www.marketplace.veer.com

 

Affirmation Of Self Love & Forgiveness

Image Credit: SistahGoddess.com

Going along  with my friend’s Liz post titled “Flap Your Wings”, here is an affirmation statement that one can practice for love and forgiveness towards ourselves and others:

 

I love you; I bless you; I appreciate you; I forgive you; and I release you to your highest good.

I am love; I am blessed; I am appreciated; I am forgiven; and I am released to the highest good.

You love yourself; you bless yourself; you appreciate yourself; and you release yourself to your highest good

I love myself; I bless myself; I appreciate myself; I forgive myself; and I release myself to my highest good

-Unity Minister John Strickland

-Fabiola

WHY SHOULD WE WELCOME SUFFERING?

Humanity has been taught that Suffering is Bad, and that we, our friends and family should never have to suffer in any possible way. Eckhart Tolle, challenged this idea in his book “A New Earth” under the concept of Conscious Suffering. His very insightful words changed dramatically my perception and expectations of LIFE.

One of the main reasons why I decided to start this blog is to share what I’ve learned from very significant and brilliant people I’ve encounter in my life. My views and perspectives of LIFE have changed over the years very drastically. As we get older, we start evolving and all our life experiences, especially the very painful ones shape our beliefs and change us forever. It is up to US to choose whether we want that change to be a positive or a negative one.

As someone who felt deep into depression and even required medication to help me recover from it, I can tell you that at some point in my life I did choose the negative approach. The outcome of a very negative thinking and a negative attitude was not pleasant at all. Thankfully with the help of GOD, family and friends I was able to rise above it and move on. At a certain point, I embraced my depression; I searched deep into my soul and my being, and that’s when I finally transcended my crisis and became a different person.

Suffering is part of life. Without suffering we cannot evolve, we cannot transcend. So what does it mean to Suffer Consciously? To suffer consciously is to ACCEPT suffering, to embrace it, learned from it and MOVE ON!! According to Eckhart Tolle, suffering consciously is good for our soul because it drives us deeper. He states that we have to say YES to suffering before we can transcend it. Very wise words.

When someone does not suffer consciously, often they portray themselves as victims, and their ego enjoys very much being a martyr, someone who for some reason the Universe and God is good to everybody else but not to them. This reasoning will only multiply your pain and suffering and will prevent you from discovering the real reason why God and the Universe wants you to experience such PAIN.

In my personal experience, I can tell you that I’ve acquire the most knowledge and the most significant inner transformation and spiritual growth when I’ve gone through painful and difficult situations in my life. Now I see those experiences as valuable lessons that God place in my path to prepare me to be a stronger human being and most importantly, to have the certainty that regardless the life changing event, He will ALWAYS be there for me, He will give me the STRENGHT to survive any circumstances, and that He will ALWAYS take care of me. That realization is extremely comforting.

I’ve learned that life is extremely fragile and that in any second our life can be turned upside down. We shall not fear PAIN, when you’re close to GOD and truly trust his plans for you that fear will completely disappear.

Many times when we think that someone we love dearly is making a mistake, we believe that is our moral duty to keep them from making it and thus keeping them from suffering. While we might prevent temporal suffering in the present, we are also preventing them from experience and facing the world, and what might be even more awful is that by preventing this small temporal PAIN, we might be inflicting a lot more painful and permanent suffering for them in the future.

Preventing suffering prevents evolution and self-growth. According to Tolle, what we may perceive as mistakes for other people, it might be exactly what they need to do or experience to prepare them for what it is to come in their lives.

LIFE is wonderful and suffering consciously will only open our minds and hearts to LOVE, VALUE and APPRECIATE everything and everyone in this incredible gift we were given called LIFE.

Hopefully these words brought comfort to someone out there 😉

God blessed,

-Lizbeth

Elizabeth Edwards… May she Rest in Peace

Yesterday Elizabeth Edwards passed away after a lost battle with cancer. She was and will always be an inspiration for many of us. We all have had our shares of painful experiences in our lives that change us forever. Elizabeth Edwards is one of the very few remarkable human beings that was able to handle heartbreak and misfortune in the most courageous and graceful manner.

After losing her first born teenage son in a car accident, being diagnosed with breast cancer, and coping with his husband infidelity in a very public mode, she amazingly kept her strength and positive attitude for her kids, family and friends. Surprisingly enough she always had encouraging and loving words for everybody around her.

She wrote 2 books “Saving Graces: Finding Solace and Strength from Friends and Strangers.”  And also, “Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life’s Adversities.”

You can tell by the sole title of her books that she embraced life turmoil in a very different way most of us do.  

She was a passionate, strong and admirable woman. Her story and legacy will always be cherished and treasured.

May she Rest in Peace, Elizabeth Edwards.

 -Lizbeth